Conclusion structure. Essay cohesion and coherence. Week 8. Lessons 1-2

1.

WEEK 8
LESSONS 1-2
Conclusion structure.
Essay cohesion and coherence
Foreign Language 2​
Astana IT University, 2025

2.

OUTLINE
Conclusion paragraph structure
Organizing conclusion paragraphs​

3.

Objectives
01
Understand the structure of a concluding paragraph

4.

Warm-up (5 minutes)
Using the first
letters of the f
ollowing adjec
tives, make a
word.
Strong
Nuanced
Unforgettable
Noteworthy
Logical
Concise
Overarching
Impactful
Outstanding
Compelling

5.

Meaning of adjectives describing a
Warm-up (5 minutes)​
good conclusion
The word is ...
C ompelling
tending to push toward a course of action
O utstanding
N oteworthy
C oncise
L ogical
U nforgettable
prominent; conspicuous; striking
worthy of notice or attention; notable; remarkable
covering much in few words
of or relating to logic
indelibly impressed on the memory
S trong
I mpactful
of great force, effectiveness, potency, or cogency
O verarching
comprehensive or all-embracing
characterized by slight difference or variation
N uanced
having or manifesting a great impact or effect

6.

Which of the following are generally
acceptable in conclusions?
(a) A statement showing how your aim has been achieved.
(b) A discussion of the implications of your research.
(c) Some new information on the topic not mentioned before.
(d) A short review of the main points of your study.
(e) Some suggestions for further research.
(f) The limitations of your study.

7.

Conclusion
It is the final paragraph of an essay.
It refers back to the title, thesis statement, main ideas in body
paragraphs.
It presents a reader with a summary of the whole essay.
It leaves your reader with your final thoughts on the topic. This is
your opportunity to convey a strong, effective message that your
reader will remember.
It contains no more that 10-20% of the essay word count.

8.

A good conclusion should:
1. Recap the topic/thesis statement
2. Summarize main points of the essay
3. Refer to findings of research (optional)
4. Acknowledge limitations of the essay
5. Identify areas for further research (optional)
6. Offer recommendations/predications for the further development
7. Have a final thought or call for action (optional)

9.

Useful phrases for starting a conclusion:
In conclusion…
This essay discussed…… that contributed to …
As we have seen…
In this essay it has been argued that ….. is (not) a
….phenomenon…
In summary…
As we have seen, the fact that…. can be attributed to
several key factors/is the result of important decisions/
seems an interesting issue.
In short…
It has been shown that…
From the above it is clear that in the modern age there are
several justifications for changes in ….

10.

Reference to research and research/essay limitation
(useful phrases)
The findings suggest that
…..
This study found that little relevant research on…
The evidence seems to
indicate that ….
Given the constraints of the limited study, there is
clearly room for further research in this field.
It is clear from the
research that…
Statistics show that there
is an increase/a fall in …
It is crucial
to acknowledge the
As with a brief outline, it has only been possible to
give the main developments in …
Obviously, it has not been possible to look at … in
many countries…and perhaps more research
need to be done in this area.

11.

Recommendations for the future (useful phrases)
More attention should be given to doing ….of …. for (smb)..
Unless these recommendations are put into practice, …. will not fully
realize the benefits/potential of …. in…
It is clear that more investments need to be made to do smth…

12.

Scan the QR code

13.

Activity 1. Read the introduction and find the elements of
conclusion.
In a world grappling with the intricate web of health challenges, diabetes stands out as a formidable
risk to mortality, having a negative impact on global well-being. The historical journey of diabetes
diagnosis reflects not only medical progress but also the persistent efforts to explain the complexity of
this condition, leading to improved methods for identification, classification, and management.
Understanding the dimensions of diabetes, delving into its historical emergence, the contemporary
scope of its impact, and its profound implications demand urgent attention and public awareness of
the issue. As diabetes remains a critical global concern, understanding its subtle complexities
becomes imperative to formulating effective solutions. Exploring this topic lies not only in the alarming
statistics surrounding diabetes but also in the complex correlation of genetic, lifestyle, and
environmental factors contributing to its prevalence. By scrutinizing the roots of diabetes as a primary
risk factor for mortality and many-sided challenges it poses, comprehensive solutions to mitigate its
impact are being proposed. This essay asserts that extensive preventative measures, education, and
advanced healthcare strategies are essential to curbing the rising rate of diabetes-related mortality
and fostering a healthier global population.​

14.

Activity 1. Read the introduction and find elements of conclusion.
1.In conclusion, it becomes evident that urgent attention and heightened public awareness
are imperative. 2. Beyond the alarming statistics, our exploration has provided insight into the
complex interplay of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors contributing to diabetes
prevalence. 3. However, it's crucial to acknowledge the limitations of this essay as it may not
comprehensively cover the vast spectrum of factors at play. 4.The essential solutions lie in
prioritizing preventive measures, promoting education, and advancing healthcare strategies. 5.
These actions are indispensable in stemming the escalating wave of issues associated with
diabetes. 6. It is imperative to recommend continuous exploration, adaptability, and
interdisciplinary collaboration. 7.This proactive approach is vital for effectively addressing the
pervasive health concern posed by diabetes.

15.

Scan the QR code

16.

Activity 2. Read the introduction and the provided conclusion. Add one
sentence with essay limitation.
The advent of the internet has undeniably
transformed our lives, enabling seamless
global information sharing. However, this
technological evolution has revealed a host of
challenges
that
need
serious
consideration. From privacy concerns to the
spread of misinformation, these challenges
highlight the imperative for a thoughtful
exploration of how we navigate the digital
landscape. As our reliance on the internet
deepens, a careful examination of these
problems is essential for the well-being of
individuals and the society. The essay deals
with addressing these issues requires a
comprehensive approach that balances
technological
innovation
with
ethical
considerations
and
robust
regulatory
frameworks.
In conclusion, technological evolution has
brought to light a myriad of challenges that
demand earnest attention. From concerns about
privacy to the spread of misinformation, these
issues need a reflective examination of how we
navigate the complex digital landscape, and
deep analysis of these problems becomes
indispensable for the well-being of individuals
and society as a whole. ….....
To effectively
tackle these challenges, it is recommended to
balance technological innovation with ethical
considerations and the establishment of robust
regulatory frameworks. By doing so, we can
harness the benefits of the internet while
minimizing its potential harms.

17.

Extra materials​
How to Write a Strong Conclusion - YouTube

18.

Home assignment 10%
● Format of the assignment: MS Word Document.
● Write a conclusion paragraph in 100-150 words.
● Before submission, make sure it meets the requirements in the
assessment criteria.
● Deadline: Week 8, Sunday, 23.59.

19.

1
9
Introduction and Conclusion Assessment Criteria
Score
1.The introduction gains reader’s interest by offering an opening statement or hook.
5
2.The introduction includes sufficient contextualizing information relevant to the essay title by moving
from general to specific (contains definition if necessary).
15
3. A rationale or reason for writing the essay is provided (stated objectively).
10
4. The thesis statement is clear, specific and logically coherent (title, topic sentences and conclusion
summary).
10
5. The conclusion summarizes the main points logically and refers to research findings.
15
6. The conclusion comments on implications/recommendations and/or offers predictions for future
developments.
15
7.The introductory and conclusion paragraphs are written in 100-150 words each.
5
8. A student uses a flexible and wide range of academic vocabulary.
10
9. A student uses a wide range of grammatical structures with full flexibility and accuracy (with no
spelling and punctuation errors).
15

20.

Lesson 2
OUTLINE
Essay Cohesion and
Coherence

21.

LESSON OBJECTIVES
Understand the concepts of cohesion and coherence in
academic writing
Identify strategies for improving cohesion and coherence in your
essays
Apply cohesive and coherent writing techniques in your own
academic writing

22.

Lead-in. Read the following paragraph and decide what
problems it has.
A
student
will
feel
resentment at being financially
dependent on his parents.
They receive a grant from the
government, but the money
is never enough to pay for all
the books and other bills that
would need to be paid. So he
tries to find a job to make ends
meet, but there's a limit on
how
much
they
can
earn (Hannay et al., 1996).
A.
Even though all the ideas are
connected to a common theme (student
finances), the writer does not gradually
progress from one matter to another.
B.
The reader is frequently misled - they in
the second sentence, for instance,
refers to 'students', not to 'parents', but
this is not immediately clear.
C.
The tense of the passage chops and
changes in a confusing manner, from
future in the first sentence, to present
and then a modal would in the second,
and back to present in the last.
D.
You can pay for books, and pay bills,
but since books are not bills you cannot
write 'books and other bills'.

23.

It is
important for
the parts of a
written text to
be
connected
together.
Cohesion relates to the micro level of the text,
i.e. the words and sentences and how they join
together.
1. Discuss: What are the ways to
connect your sentences together?
Coherence relates to the macro level features of a
text (the structure of the text) that create unity
and connectedness of ideas
This
Photo
by
Unkno
wn
Author
is
license
d
under
CC
BY-ND
• Pronouns
• Repetition of key words
and using synonyms
• Linking words
2. Discuss: What do you think can make a
text coherent based on the definition
above ?
• Heading
• Thesis statement
• Topic sentences
• The summary in the
• concluding paragraph

24.

Four cohesive devices: (Note: the symbols in brackets will be
used in examples and practice activities)
Pronouns (P)
Repetition (with exact word or parallel term/synonym) (R)
Transitions (T)
Parallelism (PllM):
the use of similar grammatical forms and sentence structures

25.

Four cohesive devices
This diagram shows how the four cohesive devices - pronouns, repetition,
transitions and parallelism - are used to create a coherent text.

26.

1.
Pronouns
Pronouns are useful cohesive devices because they make it unnecessary to repeat words too
often.
Consider the following:
Repetitious referencing:
When Gillette first invented disposable razor blades, he found it very hard to sell the disposable
razor blades. He found it very hard to sell the disposable razor blades because nobody had
marketed a throw-away product before.
Better:
When Gillette first invented disposable razor blades, he found it very
sell them. This was because nobody had marketed a throw-away product before.
hard
to

27.

2. Repetition
Repetition in a piece of writing does not always demonstrate cohesion.
Study these sentences:
Unnecessary repetition or limited vocabulary range:
The purpose of the simulation exercise is to simulate the racing performanc
e of a racing car as it will perform in an actual race.
Improved sentence:

28.

3. Transitions
Transitions are like traffic signals. They guide the reader from one idea
to the next. They signal a range of relationships between sentences,
such as comparison, contrast, example and result.

29.

4. Parallelism
Known as parallel structures or balanced constructions, parallelism is the
use
of similar grammatical forms or sentence structures when listing or when comparing two or more
items.
When used correctly, parallelism can improve the clarity of your writing.
Study these examples of faulty parallelism (marked with an asterisk *) and their corrections(in bold):
Faulty: The elderly residents enjoy many recreational activities: swimming, *read and *to garden.
Parallel: The elderly residents enjoy many recreational activities: swimming, reading, and gardeni
ng.
Faulty: The academic conversation group consists of students from China, Japan, Korea and *som
e
Germans.
Parallel:
The
academic
conversation
group
consists
of
students

30.

Problem areas
The main problem is the use of parallel structures with paired conjunctions
e.g. both … and, neither ... nor, either ... or, not only ... but also.
Consider the following examples:
Faulty: The computer is both fast and *it has reliability
Parallel: The computer is both fast and reliable.
Faulty: The problem with electronic banking is neither the lack of security nor *the fact
that you pay high interest rates.
Parallel: The problem with electronic banking is neither the lack of security nor the
high interest fees.
Faulty:
The aim of the new law is not only to reduce the incidence of boy racing but

31.

Activity 1. Identify the type of cohesive device indicated by the numbered references 1-11. Write the number followed by the
name
of
the
correct
cohesive
device
(Pronoun,
Repetition,
Pronoun+Repetition
or
Transition)

32.

Scan the QR code

33.

Activity 2. Improve the cohesion of the following paragraph
by adding transitions in the blank spaces.
Move Over DVD. Here Comes BD!
First, CDs brought digital sound into people's homes. Then DVD technology brought digital sound
and video and completely revolutionised the movie industry. Soon there will be 1........... (addition)
revolution: Blu-ray *BDs. A Blu-ray disc will have several advantages. 2. …..... (sequence), it has an
enormous data storage capacity. A single-sided DVD can hold 4.7 gigabytes of information, about the
size of an average 2-hour movie. A single-sided BD, 3. …....(contrast) can hold up to 27 gigabytes,
enough for 13 hours of standard video. A 4.......... (sequence) advantage is that a BD can record,
store, and play back high-definition video because of its larger capacity. A double-layer BD can
store about 50 gigabytes, enough for 4.5 hours of high-definition video. The cost will be the same.
5... (addition), a BD has a higher data transfer rate - 36 megabits per second - than today's DVDs,
which transfer at 10 megabits per second. 6... (result), a BD can record 25 gigabytes of data in just
over an hour and a half. 7.... (conclusion, result), because of their storage capacity and
comparable cost, BDs will probably take over the market when they become widely available. (p.31).
Text source: Oshima, A. and Hogue, A. (2008). Writing academic English (4th ed.). NY: Pearson Longman Ltd

34.

1. The researcher wanted to find out where
the new immigrants came from and to talk
about their future plans.
2.
The earthquake victims were both
concerned about water contamination and the
slow response from the government also
made them angry.
3. An ideal environment for studying includes
good lighting, a spacious room, and the
furniture must be comfortable.
4. Computers have changed the way people
live, for their work, and how they use their
leisure time.
5. Houses play an important role not only to
provide a place to live, but also for giving a
sense of security.
• Activity 3.
• Correct the faulty
parallel
constructions (bold)
in the following
sentences

35.

Coherence
The sentences in essay must flow smoothly and logically from on
e to the next as they support the purpose of each paragraph in
proving the thesis.
Just as the last sentence in a paragraph must connect back to the
topic sentence of the paragraph, the last paragraph of the essay
should connect back to the thesis by reviewing the proof and
restating the thesis.
Coherence relates to the macro level features of a text
structure
of the text) that create unity and connectedness of ideas.
(the

36.

It is
important for
the parts of a
written text to
be
connected
together.
Cohesion relates to the micro level of the text,
i.e. the words and sentences and how they join
together.
1. Discuss: What are the ways to
connect your sentences together?
Coherence relates to the macro level features of a
text (the structure of the text) that create unity
and connectedness of ideas
This
Photo
by
Unkno
wn
Author
is
license
d
under
CC
• Pronouns
• Repetition of key words
and using synonyms
• Linking words
2. Discuss: What do you think can make a
text coherent based on the definition
above ?
• Heading
• Thesis statement
• Topic sentences
• The summary in the
• concluding paragraph

37.

How to check for coherence?
Heading (Essay title) (NEW)
Thesis statement
Topic sentence of each body paragraph
The summary in the concluding paragraph

38.

Scan the QR code

39.

Activity 4. Read an essay on "Increasing Plastic Waste: A
Global Environmental Challenge." Give more detailed explanation of
why the essay draft lacks coherence.
Increasing Plastic Waste: A Global Environmental Challenge
Plastic pollution is a significant problem that needs to be addressed. It has detrimental effects on
the environment and marine life. Plastic waste is a result of improper disposal and lack of awareness. In
this essay, we will discuss the causes and effects of plastic pollution and propose potential solutions.
Plastic pollution has various causes. The excessive use of single-use plastics is one major
factor. Plastic bags, bottles, and packaging are used and thrown away without proper consideration for
the environment. Insufficient recycling infrastructure is another cause. Inadequate recycling facilities
and collection systems result in plastic waste ending up in landfills and oceans.
Plastic pollution has severe consequences for ecosystems. Marine life is particularly affected.
Plastic waste in oceans leads to entanglement and ingestion by marine animals, causing injury and
death. Additionally, microplastics, tiny plastic particles, enter the food chain, posing a threat to human health.
To combat plastic pollution, public awareness campaigns should be launched. Educating
individuals about the impact of plastic waste can encourage behavioral changes. Governments should also
invest in improving waste management systems. This includes the establishment of recycling facilities and
the implementation of stricter regulations on plastic production and use.
In conclusion, plastic pollution is a pressing issue with far-reaching consequences. By
raising awareness, improving waste management infrastructure, and implementing regulations, we

40.

Why is this essay not coherent and cohesive?
Lack of Clear Organization: The essay does not follow a clear organizational structure with distinct
sections such as an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The information appears to be
presented in a random order, making it difficult for readers to follow the logical progression of ideas.
Absence of Topic Sentences: Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that introduces
the main idea of the paragraph. However, the essay draft lacks effective topic sentences, which are
crucial for guiding readers and maintaining coherence.
Weak Transitions: The essay lacks smooth transitions between paragraphs and sentences.
Transitions help connect ideas and create a logical flow. Without them, the essay feels disjointed, and
readers may struggle to understand the relationships between different points.
Lack of Cohesive Devices: Cohesive devices, such as pronouns, repetition, synonyms, and
antonyms, are essential for creating connections between ideas and paragraphs. However, the essay
draft does not utilize these devices effectively, resulting in a lack of cohesion and clarity.
Inconsistent Style and Vocabulary: The essay lacks consistency in style and vocabulary, which
can disrupt the flow and coherence. Sudden shifts in tone or language can confuse readers and
make it challenging to follow the essay's argument.
Incomplete Conclusion: The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points discussed in
the essay and provide a sense of closure. However, the essay draft's conclusion is brief and does not
tie back to the introduction or provide a comprehensive summary.

41.

Reflection
3 things that I have learned from the lesson:
1. I know the structure of conclusion.
2. I know the difference between cohesion and coherence.
3. I know how to write cohesively using cohesive devices.
4. I know how to connect ideas in my essay.

42.

RESOURCES
Bailey, S. Academic Writing. A Handbook for International Students. 2018.
De Chazal, E., & Moore, J. (2020). Oxford EAP: A Course in English for
Academic Purposes. Upper-intermediate/B2. Oxford University Press.

43.

Thank you for
your attention!